i should have said 'Alhamdulillah'

life is great. i mean waking up in the morning and doing things.

that's awesome.

we're lucky to exist, you know?

I have a chance to be alive and experience things--which is probably the most under appreciated thing in the whole world (right in front of breakfast for dinner). life is beautiful and it's a shame that it often takes near death experiences or improved circumstances for people to realize it.

i love life, even when i don't have one.

i love it unconditionally and if it were a person, i'd hug it everyday.

not the one arm, side-to-side deal either.. i'am talking two arm embraces, with life's face smothered in my chest so it leaves makeup stains on my shirt.

i want to make good impressions, have the correct answers, make the best decisions, say the right things--be good at life. i know a person or two who seem as if they've got it all figured out. living and handle everything with grace and charisma. YES, i know nobody is perfect do some people just act better than others? maybe that's the best method, to pretend and fake it-- until I make it.

maybe it's been too long. maybe i have crossed the border between 'giving honor to what i had' into 'being pathetically stuck in the past'. i'am sorry if you think that i should be doing other things, enjoying my youth, counting my blessing, and seeing other people. i don't need to hear any motivational quotes about all of the wonderful things i still have to look forward to in life, or that i ended for a reason.

i am currently walking through a tunnel whose end i cannot see,

whose walls feel as cold as they are strangely comforting.

at least in my sadness,

i know what can be expected.

Tangerine...

i re-watch this movie just about yesterday.....and today. i don't know, i just in love with the story line. and to be honest, i sometimes want to erase some memories. i need Lacuna for real in Indonesia if it's possible. could we watch this movie once again, sun?

we

We've got a lot of memories, 
But there isn't much time.
I'm sitting here thinking of, 
the day we say goodbye.

Our friendship is so strong.
It seems like nothing could go wrong.
We know even when you're gone;
we got the strength to carry on?

Because, we are the best there is yet and,
We are what not a lot of people get and,
We are the thing that people want because, 
We're there for a shoulder to cry on.
No one can make us change our minds,
because we'll be best friends for all time.

It seems there are so many people 
who have a different friend everyday,
we thank God for each other
cause not lots of friends stay this way.

We've had our up and downs.
We've circled round and round.
But then we finally found
a friendship so bound with trust!

Because, we are the best there is yet and,
We are what not a lot of people get and,
We are the thing that people want because, 
We're there for a shoulder to cry on.
No one can make us change our minds,
because we'll be best friends for all time.

We laugh at things no one seems
to think is quite that funny.
We make weird faces sometimes.
We say things people would hide.
We'll be best friends till we die.
When you leave we're going to cry;
but sometimes life is unkind,
least we'll be friends for all time.